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you know, im so fucking scared that you hate me, gonna delete me from msn, dont believe that i didnt delete you purposely. seriously, you have to get a life, its not like you are the only one who has a limit and have a very 'good' attitude. we tried talking to you but you dont wanna talk to us, what do we do? just continue walking and observe. but when you walked away from us, at least we made the fucking effort to chase after you. but do you know we did that? NO! because you are too fucking thinking about how we 'ignored' you. did you know im ignore almost ALL the time in primary 6 while you get so much attention? NO! because you were too busy basking in the glory of attention! nobody cared at that time and i dealt with it okay? so stop all your bullshitting and seriously get a life! and writing like that on your facebook wall is seriously not throwing my face away, but yours actually. now people know how you actually treat your friends who were there for you during primary school. guess you have forgotten about what we did for you huh? well dont worry, we dont really give a damn anyway. oh wait, its just me and some other people whos life you have fucked up for 5 years! so if you are planning to say sorry to us, forget it, the friendship is long over from today onwards. hahaha, and just to think that i wanted to apologise to you, but i actually realised that you wont accept it because you were to arrogant to accept it! so what if you attack me with all those words? it may hurt my feelings, and heart, but im not those type who will commit suicide just because of that! i admit, im afraid of death, because i dont wanna leave my friends and family alone, causing them to be sad, but how about you have you ever thought about us? i dont think so because you freaking walked out on us! everybody want to know whats wrong, and how we can help, but you keep them all bottled up, and you always say people dont understand you. well of course no one understands you if you dont fucking tell them whats wrong! yet you still thank people for disappointing you. you steal, act like you know everything, but the truth is that you actually are weak without the ATTENTION you need. just face it, you are basicly useless without it. to tell the truth, since primary school you have been a bastard, cant take a joke, bursting into anger just for that small thing. haha, we all took all your bullshit and just beared with it, hoping you would change, but did you? NO! because you were too egoistic and didnt give a damn about people's feeling. and i feel that you are seriously desperate, if not, why did you make her your 'sex partner'? its not like she will do it with you, so wait long long!
ps, if you are reading this, please dont bother commenting on it because i feel you are basically wasting your time. dont worry about me, heh, like you will, i have a lot of time to spare. so just stfo and gtfo :)
can you like just fuck off? i can control my own life, and you dont need to constantly like FUCKING nag at me 24/7! i know you love him soooo fucking much that you dont want to cane or scold him, treat him like a fucking king, then what am i to you?!
my heart aches..
im really sorry for what i've done
i promise, i will change for the better
im sorry that i've hurt your feelings..
i never meant for it to happen
regretting does not change anything...
im really sorry...
*****a****e***
i feel so imperfect...
so left out...
nothing i do ever please people
only make them hate me more
what can i do?
tell them im a evil person since primary school?
and that it is in my nature?
i cant change it?
even if i tell them that...
they wouldnt care...
they never did anyway..
they only lecture and never really care..
i wish...
that i was never born...
i'd stay in either heaven or hell still..
never get reincarnated..
maybe like that, everyone would be happy
their lives would change for the better without me...
i really wish...
and i feel that im not suited for being a christian..
i should go back to how i used to be...
just bottling things up inside..
and spewing out all the vulgarities..
life was a breeze then...
4 63837 926833 86 36 8447...
ok..
im freaking bored...
anyway,
life in secondary school is much different now..
-.-'
i seriously have nth to write...
and i feel that im drifting away from my primary school friends..
oh wait...
i AM drifting away from them
haha...
just when i thought we had those good times...
i feel so bored!
being at school is like...
DEATH
my friends don't really care =.=
except some of the seniors
weird... o.O
anyway, doing art
still gonna die tomorrow anyway
so just chiong
and there is a home econ test tomorrow as well
darn, when i wished NPAP will end...
anyway, speaking of NPAP
let me RECAP
17 April 2010 NPAP Parade!!
went to meet azmie and iqlima at mac ard 10.45am
iqlima late then blamed azmie
hahaha
mac was full so we settle on kfc
bought th a.m porridge
azmie bought th twister meal
iqlima eat own food
then kena caught by manager
hahahaha
so went to tanglin with azmie
saw dhashini on 175
was shocked at first haha but our bus overtook hers
went to tanglin, met up with friends and chit chatted
cy took my gameboy and play
then changed to half-u and waited for bus
skipping to HTA
went to hta, put our bags in the COOLING aircon room
went to fall in at the parade sq?
unity square ba...
moving on, so practised march past and march off
did rehersal
feet were burning! darn weather... lucky i nvr polish
if nt my efforts wasted.
haha, stood under the hot sun for abt 20-30 mins
ending that time ALOT of people fell out
i felt the pain
cos if they fall out, they cannot go for th actual parade
so marched past, and marched off, post-parade then water break
shiok eh...
uhhh then practised drills??
i think then went to aircon room change to full-u
unfair guys get to change inside lo...
we girls have to squeeze into th bathroom n change
lucky nt flooded yet
then we slack awhile cos our ma'am and sir so kind
then went down eat late lunch
hot dog buns =.=
then th thunderstorm alarm went off.
was like VERY sad la
but! they did nt cancel th parade
yay! so sat in drill shed awhile then go form-up points
stand thr for dunno hw long
spectators was coming in
my mom, grace and joey came :D
i thought they would nt make it in time
but, sadly, my mom kept taking pics of me
SO PAISEI!
so th parade started abt 10-15min ltr? est. la...
was like so cool
but thr was one extra mama call us losers
like he can do better
show me la
mayb you private only
so dun come and kpkb hor
back to npap
lucky i survived it all th way
march past, march off and post-parade rocks!
running away when th band was playing
haha no la
go youtube search ' npap 2010 '
can see de
ok, gtg do art
BYE!!
lol i know nt many people read my blog
except samantha...
thats why i nvr really update le...
so..
LONG TIME NO BLOG!
last time i blogged was 15 march?
ya...
so lemme start from the beginning..
March 18 2010
met and was introduced to grace (constance) song
went to subway with her and my zhar bor sam.
eat lunch first then did hmwk and revision.
ard 4pm++++ sam nid to go le.
sad....
so left me and grace
fled to mcdonalds and "study"
then an auntie say aft 6pm cannot study there liao
cos their big boss came to visit?
well anyway, did my art with her
blahblahblah
her friend, kunwu came and chatted for awhile
6pm++, it was time to leave
blahblahblahblah
March 27 2010
went to church for the second time
actually first i went there the "first" time was for a wedding.
went to CHC Jurong West.
Pastor Kong was funny
made time fly!
didnt even realise that 2hr past.
made me wanna go somemore!
so aft church went to "BEST" Coffee Shop.
ate with Si Ling, Weekiat, Samuel, Jason and Stany
then Grace came from briefing?
aft eating, gonna go jp watch movie
so asked mom to come fetch
Grace came along in my mom's car
too bad the others didnt want to
so went to jp and met with Sze Yin
watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid
funny like siao.
so the movie ended ard 11.30pm++?
bid farewell to friends
August 2 2010
Church again
And it is EASTER!
so had a drama there
about how Jesus, our saviour, sacrificed himself on the cross
to tell the truth i didnt cry
i felt touched...
oh and sam came with us woot!
saw ms yee there too =.=
sabo-ed sam and called ms yee purposely.
HA!
so went to "BEST" Coffee Shop again for dinner
wanted to see grace's iPhone's pictures
had to grapple with her to get it.
she still got it cos in the end i let go
and her hair was so darn messy
cos of me!
haha then she went toilet style her hair.
blahblahblah
aft dinner walked to bus stop
grace's parents came to fetch her
heard from her that it was their wedding anniversary.
ya, so called my mom and asked her to fetch me too
cos i was very tired
Present day
change in time table.
ugggggh...
PE on thurs and fri!
wah seh...
so today average day la
tho history almost fell asleep
haha...
so aft sku was bad for a period of time
wont say it tho
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